A Trauma Survivors Election Day Experience 2016 And How To Move Forward

Graphic by Laura Joseph, Healing With Spirit
White Buffalo came to Laura in Jan 2016. 

WOW what a ride this week has been and since the election emotions have been quite high.  I have my own feelings that have come to light this week and I will share them with you shortly. This is a very sensitive subject matter especially for trauma survivors, and my only request is that you read this with an open heart and without judgement.

I am also an empath, so I feel intensely the energies around me and of those people around me whether person to person or virtually. As I write this, I am choosing to honor my own feelings and I am choosing to honor yours as well. 

Before I continue on my experiences after the election, let me share with you my experiences and thoughts on the day of the election and why I felt so paralyzed to vote.   One of my trauma coping mechanisms is journaling.  Here is what I wrote on the day of the election, November 8, 2016, and when I decided to publish it, I chose to keep it as is so you may experience my full experience.

Graphic by Laura Joseph, Healing With Spirit

"I never realized how triggering and paralyzing today's election was until today when it was time to cast a vote. The governmental abuse, disregard and metaphorical rape of women and children, the narcissistic sociopathic behaviors of our two primary candidates, the disregard for life not to mention threats and intimidation brings back flash backs of the horrors I endured attempting to leave and to protect my children from abuse only to have them legally trafficked by way of family court, and the more I fought trying to grasp at any straw to save them and myself, the more I was threatened and retaliated against and even went to jail.

There is no worse feeling in the world than drowning in a sea of trauma, abuse, lies, and deceit begging for someone to reach out to pull me and my children out only to be met with the mighty oar pushing you back under hoping you just die.

Today's election and everything it stands for and against, has paralyzed my ability to vote bridging past abuse with political rhetoric that merged as if it became one reality especially when the deepest darkest shadows of America is cracked wide open.

Some of you may say, get over it and move on. After all, it's been almost 11 yrs since you left your abuser. My head and mind already know that. However, It's my physical body trapped in fight or flight in its attempt to shield me and protect me from further trauma and abuse screaming inside begging when will it end. When will peace reign on earth, and I no longer have to maintain a fight or flight state which has severely taxed my adrenal glands?It is extremely difficult to engage in exercising my right to vote especially when reports of bullying, insults, and intimidation are becoming the norm. This weekend I realized I still do "avoidance" tactics which is part of trauma response. Today, I realized how bad I still do it. 

The redtail hawk Laura saw on November 8, 2016

As I left my house this morning tearing myself apart for not practicing what I preached paralyzed in fear a redtail hawk swooped out of nowhere flying alongside my truck on Rockland Street until I hit the breaks and he flew to the top of the tree. i pulled over, exercised gratitude, and had a mini animal totem pow wow.The message I received was to take the pressure off myself and to focus on the long term picture not on the short term and to stop being so hard on myself. The hawk is showing me to trust and take flight. I may feel unsupported in the human realm, but to know I am supported in the divine realm.
I guess in one aspect the avoidance has allowed me to heal and move forward, but in another aspect when confronted, it is paralyzing. God help America."

Photo & Quote by Laura Joseph
Healing With Spirit. All Rights Reserved

I had so much anxiety on the day of the election, it was overwhelming. I felt alone, as the trigger spiraled.  I pulled every tool I knew to cope including meditation, reiki, journaling, crystal, vibrational healing via tibetan medicine singing bowls, walks and communing in nature, and  detachment. 

When I saw the redtail hawk, I knew it was a sign. Signs from above have been very prominent for me in my healing journey since I had lost faith and trust in humanity. Connecting  with the divine was my lifeline.

Redtail hawks have been a great message bearer for me over the years. They adapt to life well even amongst the human race and are a great service to humanity. The human race has drifted so far away from source, we miss the magic they offer. I was grateful for my divine team and angels for this message.

As I maintained a ping pong match of emotions that day, I decided to go for a walk and was greeted with three crows with a mourning dove perched just above. I smiled and moved forward, and my anxiety began to wane, but not enough to head to the polls and vote. You see for me it was not the idea of voting that was the trigger for me. It was the idea of dealing with something with what I perceived as a corrupt, abusive government and even though in my head, I knew not to fear, my body kept tying to trick me otherwise.

From a spiritual sense, crow is another very powerful message bearer, keeper of the universal sacred laws, and represent magic. They are the harbinger of change in all areas of life; physical, spiritual, mental and emotional. They can aid us in moving between realms of the spirit world and physical life. Crow was a wonderful reminder to create and manifest what I seek. The fact there were three, reminds me how divinely support I am and focuses my attention to my ability to communicate more effectively. Crow announces a newness on the horizon. Are you aware of the nuances in life? Are you listening to signs around you? Crow can give strength and show you how to maneuver in intuitions and insights.

When I saw the mourning dove above the crows, I smiled as it was the solidifier for me in the message. Traditionally, doves are a messenger of peace, love, joy and gentleness, prophecy of good things, maternity instincts, as well as an awakening to promise of future with clarity. In this case, dove was helping me understand my emotions better, and letting me know that hope and peace will come. 

When I woke up on Wednesday, November 9, 2016, I was and was not shocked at the results. I was not shocked, because, I had predicted early spring of Hillary Clinton's downfall. I however, was fearful of a Trump Presidency and was hoping for a different, maybe more Utopian result. 

I have over come so much in my life. I have chosen to do my best to never judge those who voted a certain way because it is a constitutional right. I choose to not let those choices break up my "tribe".  

Although, I thought I was much further along in my healing, I am taking a pause. I am holding space and trying to not feed the fear. Instead, I am choosing to allow to feel these emotions. I am allowing to feel the fear. I am talking to the inner child within, who clearly is still wounded, and asking her what will it take to feel safe again so the fear can be released for good this time.

I am BEing mindful how I unleash my emotions on my friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc. We all have a choice. If we want change, we must go within first. 

In the end we are all one. Fear begets more fear. Hate begets more hate. Only love can conquer hate and fear. Only love can create peace.
The veil is thin right now. Many truths are being revealed. Our own shadows are surfacing. We've been feeling it rise like a cauldron of a volcano for quite a while.

All the answers we seek lie within. So please let's pause and be mindful of our thoughts, words, posts, actions.

Here's a quote I love that resonates, and I changed it to create action: "I surrender to what is. I let go of what was and I have faith in what will be."

Today, I choose to step into the light and BE the beacon.

It's time we get centered. Breathe ... Bring back our power ... breathe ... feel compassion ... breathe ...
And breath in Love ... breathe ... and breathe out fear.

Together let's radiate love and let it transmute any misqualified energies.

Together, we not only help ourselves, but our brothers and sisters, our fellow struggling American, the rest of the world, Mother Earth etc.

I honor and appreciate each of you.

Let's create the greatest most contagious virus of Love. Change begins with us. That change is internal.

Here are a few related links for more information

• Trust in Your Path
• Trusting During The Storm
• Learning To Ride The Storm
• The Ripple Effect and Spirituality
• Expansion Mode, Getting Unstuck, Moving Past Fear
• Lessons During The Bipolar Ping Pong Match of Emotions to Paradoxical Extremes
• Whether Things are Good or Bad, Go Up
• Spiritual Purging? 10 Tips on What You Can Do To Ease the Transition During These Cosmic Shifts
• It's All How We Perceive Our World. A Message From The Divine
• Our Soul is Trying To Awaken, Are you Listening?
• Healing Trauma By Stepping Into Your Power Through The Universal Energies of Change and Forgiveness
• Spirituality and Your Health
• My Story of Embodying Reiki To Heal Trauma Associated With Abuse

I am here to help.

With Love and appreciation,
Laura  Healing With Spirit, 

Spiritual Medium, Public Speaker, and Teacher
Usui Reiki Master Teacher
Shihankaku in Jikiden Reiki

To schedule a private reading, to book a private party, or speaking engagement,  please visit www.laurahealingwithspirit.com 

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(c) 2016 All rights reserved. Laura Healing With Spirit. May not be copied or reproduced without expressed written consent

Healing Trauma By Stepping Into Your Power Through The Universal Energies of Change And Forgiveness

What I will be writing about, I am unsure if this is directed to my personal path and journey or if you will find that it will resonate with you.  I would love to hear from you and your feedback as it helps me help you.  I would appreciate that deeply.

So, when you think these spiritual storms we have been riding over the past few months and years have slowed down and we can breathe, we are faced with more storms as we continue to upgrade and change in order to be more in vibrational alignment with source energy and our soul purpose.

Just as you think you can catch your breath, we begin September with more changes ahead with the start of the eclipse season and our third mercury retrograde this year.  

As I am writing this, I am wondering how many of us have surrendered to the Universal energies, let go of the past ... karmic in past lives, hurts in this life, and generational karma. We are healing it all if we learn to step aside and allow our soul to guide us and light the way.

This journey has not been easy especially those also healing some form of trauma. With all that I do and practice, I can attest to this struggle as our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies let go and realign.  No one ever said healing was ever easy, but it is worth it. I began to write about my journey healing trauma associated with abuse. One thing I have learned with trauma and PTSD, it loves to reign you in and prevent the healing to commence and will attempt to trick your brain into old outdated patterns or more of the very same you are trying to leave behind you. These patterns of constant fight or flight are there for our safety and protection, but when in overload, it is like keeping your finger in an electrical socket and you can not see, feel, hear, anything else around you never mind inside the self.

Laura administering self healing in
a meditative state in nature in Maine

One of the things I have had to address and face is healing karmic cords with my abuser in this life and in previous lives. This is NOT easy by any stretch. However, each day I am stronger, and remind myself that I AM ... FREE ... from those karmic bonds that tied me for 20+ years of my life in this life as well as in previous lives. The trauma and PTSD side would like to keep replaying the same story thinking it is protecting me not recognizing my finger has already been removed from that electrical socket.  It takes faith in the unknown and higher power and courage to remove your finger and begin healing.

So for many, the Universe and our souls pushed our buttons hard this year to get us out of our comfort zones, challenged relationships, and forced us to face the things needing change so we may continue to evolve from the caterpillar to the emerging butterfly. For those who have experienced PTSD or some form of trauma, these have been magnified. My question for you to ask yourself is:  "Were you open to change or resistant?" 

When we can have the courage of trying to not control every aspect in our life and face our shadow self, we become awakened.  We begin to embrace and nurture the inner child within allowing us to surrender the ego and the control that the trauma has in our life. 

Laura administering Reiki to a silver
back gorilla at the San Diego Zoo 2016

In order to get there, we must look at the two greatest emotions that drive us.  The themes of love and fear continue to the surface for review. I know for me this was a big one, because, my abuser kept me captive paralyzed in fear and stripping me my sense of self and gaslighted me to believe I was better off dead.

So relearning to trust in myself and know that I was worthy of love took many years of healing and lots of work. Slowly I regained my sense of self through self love and self compassion. What helped me initiate the process was my Spiritualist faith, reiki, and meditation practice.

If we are in a state of fear, how can we love? AND vice versa, if we are in a state of love, how can we fear? Learning the art of detachment from people, places, things and especially outcomes have also surfaced to allow for more soul growth. Whenever I see myself reliving fear or something I thought I healed or resolved or let go of from my past, I do the following:

1. I acknowledge its presence
2. I thank the Universe for bringing it to my attention so I may learn how to release this
3. I create intentions and call upon my spiritual team to assist me. Depending on the issue, this may be my ascended reiki masters to Archangel Michael to Saint Germaine. You can create your team to assist you and call upon them. They will not intervene unless you ask for their assistance.
4. I allow myself to receive love from the divine presence.
5. I practice one or a combination of the modalities I have been studying over the years. This may be a violent flame meditation, to tibetan singing bowls, to reiki, to a meditative walk in nature or the like.  
6. I practice self love, self worth, self compassion, and self forgiveness.
7. I adopt the pace of nature understanding that my healing happens not when I try to control its outcome, but when I have done the work and my frequency and vibration are in alignment with my intentions.
8. Because of the trauma I endured, I did not trust people, organizations, or those in power who were supposed to uphold the law and protect me from abuse. So I built a relationship with the divine and nature. For those who follow me on Instagram or Facebook, see my posts of all the divine messages and confirmations from nature I receive almost daily and sometimes numerous times a day. It always brings a smile on my face. 
9. When appropriate, I seek help from other holistic practitioners. 

As transition, I have been hearing messages addressing the theme of "forgiveness" as additional themes over the past week or so. So along with fear and love, forgiveness also seems to be playing a role especially for those trying to reclaim their power.

Last week, I posted a general message card to my Instagram and Facebook page where I talked about forgiveness. I saw this message as confirmation to what I am writing about here and I smiled. When I pulled the card, my shoulders suddenly relaxed, and I felt a huge a sigh.

Forgiveness is significant. All the work we have done so far is to prepare us for the hardest task ... forgiveness.

If you are holding onto the pain or trauma or hurt someone may have caused you, the misconception is that forgiveness lets that person off the hook while you suffer. It does not. What happened to you is now in the past. What we do to ourselves as a result of trauma, is we keep the traumatic event or series of traumatic events alive and well in the present ... the now. I have been trying to understand why we do this to ourselves and why do we imprison ourselves with very few answers. I believe a shift in perception allows us to see that when all we are doing is creating a pattern of self-destruction and self-imprisonment, then we can then implement change.

What forgiveness does is free ourselves from the chains that bind us. This in turn allows our hearts to receive self-love. We can not truly love another until we have fully learned this. I see this to be so true more than ever before now.

I am envisioning many of you who have experienced what many would call such egregious atrocious and unforgivable acts saying things like, "Why on earth would I forgive?". We must let go of the need to control and need to be right and stay in the familiar. Being right usually does not change the outcome except create a prison stealing our lives. All this does is tie us to the story of the past, poisoning our present, and stealing our future.

Learning to forgive frees us. Wow, right now as I re-read that statement, I am envisioning the mighty power of hawk with a strap to it's talon caught up in a tree stealing its flight, it's ability to thrive and survive and ability to soar to great heights.  Then, finally the hawk is snapping the strap breaking free from the tangled mess in the tree and lifting it up letting go of those burdens where it can now soar the skies once again and not only survive, but thrive.  

Learning to forgive is one of our greatest spiritual lessons to truly understand. We have had lots of lessons, and transformations this year. The hardest person to forgive, but the most important is "self". The Universe is calling on us once again. We have been given signs whether you are attuned and seeing them or not is irrelevant. There are those who have been called to help those who can not see.

It's time to forgive and write a new chapter.

Free yourself from the past, past hurts, past mistakes, past traumas or the like.

So for the coming month, the eclipse season and mercury retrograde will be what we choose to perceive it to be. This is a very transformative time, and we can use these energies to help us in our path if we learn to work with them versus fight them. For once, try to master riding these waves of change and see the world from a whole new perspective. We can not control the size, shape, and velocity of the waves that come ashore. So why do we try to control the waves of life? It is time we learned to ride the waves and have fun learning to surf. Wow, I what a shift right there. Wouldn't you agree? Did you feel that?  I wrote about this last month in my post "Understanding the Cosmic Shifts".

And since I have been writing about trauma, this is a grand time, to let the Universe help you right here, right now, in removing any and all obstacles from our mind and body so we may live a healthier and happier life. By the way, health is another theme arising too. So take time to listen to what the body tells you as it speaks to you 24/7. It is up to us whether or not we are listening.

The future is a blank slate. This is an opportunity to truly break free from those chains that bind you.
Are you willing? Are you ready?

The future is yours.

Please check out my January post 6 Tips Towards Soul-Fillment in 2016 and my April post on What You Need To Know About The Current Energies and Tips To Guide You to help guide you in your path.

In the meantime, have a beautiful day. I am here to help you in your journey. Enjoy.

With Love and appreciation,
Laura  Healing With Spirit, 

Spiritual Medium, Public Speaker, and Teacher
Usui Reiki Master Teacher
Shihankaku in Jikiden Reiki

To schedule a private reading, to book a private party, or speaking engagement,  please visit www.laurahealingwithspirit.com 

SERVICES: Holistic Healing, Jikiden Reiki, Spiritual Medium Readings, Medical Intuitive Readings, Oracle, Angel and Tarot Card Readings, Energy Assessments and Healings, Yuen Energetics, Spiritual Guidance, Soul Mentoring

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(c) 2016 All rights reserved. Laura Healing With Spirit. May not be copied or reproduced without expressed written consent

Learning the Art of Detachment

The feather with a message on detachment

Since 2016 began, we have been pushed to extremes, prodded, and forced to examine our inner selves and workings. What I see is that we're being forced to address the idea of attachments and the art of learning to detach. We build attachments as human beings to people, places, and things.

Our human ego builds emotional attachments and feeds on them. The big struggle I am seeing with many of us right now as we adjust to all the downloads and cosmic upgrades, is learning to let go of those attachments and trust in the process. This doesn't mean that you stop caring or stop doing certain things. It simply means removing the emotional attachments.

The art of learning to detach oneself from people, places, and things, has proven to be a undaunting task for sure as we begin to question everything and everyone in our lives. We even begin to question our very existence and path. Are you experiencing this yourself?  I'd like know, and I'm sure others would too. 

We have been shown how strong the will of ego can play on our mind, body, and spirit and wreak havoc in the process hindering progress of our soul growth.  But really,  is it hindering the process or is all of this part of the evolution of our soul?

Once the illusions are peeled away, our truth is revealed.  How scary it is when driving blind in the darkness,  but how liberating it can be when you can see the light again from a different view?

Just like we wake up every morning, we brush our teeth everyday. We eat everyday to fuel our body, mind and spirit. Our body eliminates waste every day removing toxins that no longer serve us. We must also exercise the art of letting go and detaching from those situations, people, places, and things that are holding us back from our spiritual path and soul growth.

We are a part of a larger consciousness.  As a society, many feel we can control anything and everything.  However,  in reality that is ego creating a false sense of reality.  When we choose to decide to let go of control,  partner with source energy, you just might find everything else in your life improves ... home life, relationships,  work, etc.

Why do we expend so much energy into holding onto attachments that no longer serve are highest self? It is a question I have been asking myself repeatedly over the last month.

Is it because we know we have a lot of toxic waste to dump, and just like Mother Earth using floods, hurricanes, and other storms to clean house, sometimes it gets a little too mucky and dirty for us face? This is despite the fact, we know at the end of every storm, you reach the pristine soil ripe for planting those seeds you wish to flourish. You cannot plant heirloom flowers in toxic soil. We must clean it up and start amending it to get what we do want.

As a result,  many of us are experiencing huge purges especially of old emotional traumas and pain. If you are part of society resisting this, I pray for you.  You are the group experiencing the most pain right now. Law of attraction teaches us that resistance is futile and as above, so below. 

I know I personally have had my symptoms heighten or worsen include: sleep disturbances, PTSD triggers, heightened anxiety, voice issues, ringing in the ear, lung and breathing issues, vocal cord issues, fatigue, lack of appetite, and increased thirst.  So you see you are not alone. We are all one. We are each other's brothers and sisters.

As I was doing my meditative walk this morning thinking about this topic of detachment and my journey this year so far. I stumbled upon first a cardinal feather followed by a turkey feather.

If I look at the coincidences of time which today's date February 5, 2016 at approximately 9am, I can study the numerological message of "Stay balanced and positive. That cycle you wish to change will be ending shortly"

Both feathers are also signs from my spirit team, angels, and source energy aka soul that we are on the right track. Again, another confirmation.  It's a message to help us stay focused on the path that we are trying to create and have faith that all good things are coming to us.

What do I do to stay on the path without losing my mind?  I practice the art of appreciation, gratitude, and forgiveness every day. I meditate and practice Reiki every day. I have a set of affirmations posted on sticky notes on my bathroom mirror that I cite every day. I have healthy relationships with my core friends who support me and are there for me without criticism or judgements.  Many of us have toxic family members and friends.  How is that working out for you? I do my best to avoid processed and non GMO foods. I get into nature and ground.

Remember, it's always darkest before dawn. Bad times never last. So focus on memories of previous good times you have had to help you through the bad times.

And as a constant message from my spirit team, angels and soul have been delivering to me consistently for weeks now, "trust that you're so has your back. Let your soul light the way, and you just follow."

It's that simple.

With love and light,

Laura  Healing With Spirit, 

Spiritual Medium, Public Speaker, and Teacher

To schedule a private reading, to book a private party, or speaking engagement,  please private message me or visit www.laurahealingwithspirit.com 

  

SERVICES: Spiritual Medium Readings, Medical Intuitive Readings, Oracle, Angel and Tarot Card Readings, Energy Assessments and Healings, Reiki, Yuen Energetics,  Spiritual Guidance

  

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www.laurahealingwithspirit.com